Here's a quiz from the Official Slacker Handbook:
Inching up the wage scale is important, but one should never underestimate the importance of finding a day job that truly suits the slack lifestyle. Before you leave your $7 an hour job managing that tiny out of the way used bookstore for a $14 an hour job toting cement blocks around a construction site, take some time to assess those intangibles that make a day job worth keeping:
"I never have to wake up before 11AM to make it to work on time." TRUE 4 points FALSE -3 points
"I work three days a week or fewer." TRUE 5 points FALSE -2 points
"My job taxes less than 2 percent of my mental reserves." TRUE 4 points FALSE -2 points
"I can read books and magazines of my own selection while at work." TRUE 1 point FALSE -1 point
"I can watch TV at work." TRUE 3 points FALSE -0 points
"My friends can come hang out with me while I'm at work and I still get paid." TRUE 2 points FALSE -2 points
"I have never broken a sweat at work." TRUE 2 points FALSE -2 points
"I never have to move quickly at work." TRUE 3 points FALSE -2 points
"My stress levels at work range from "low" to "very low."" TRUE 4 points FALSE -2 points
"I can make long, personal phone calls at work." TRUE 1 point FALSE -1 point
"I can make long, long distance personal calls at work." TRUE 2 points FALSE -0 points
"I can make long, international personal calls at work." TRUE 3 points FALSE -0 points
"I am free to act sullen and rude with any customers I might come into contact with at work." TRUE 2 points FALSE -1 point
"I can more or less choose to work whenever the mood strikes." TRUE 4 points FALSE -1 point
"I can smoke while on the job." TRUE 2 points FALSE -5 points
"I am encouraged to smoke while on the job." TRUE 4 points FALSE -0 points
"I have an unlimited supply of FREE coffee at work." TRUE 4 points FALSE -2 points
"I can successfully perform the duties of my job while hung over." TRUE 1 point FALSE -1 point
"I can successfully perform the duties of my job while intoxicated." TRUE 3 points FALSE -0 points
"I can successfully perform the duties of my job while under the influence of mind altering drugs." TRUE 4 points FALSE -0 points
"I can drink alcohol at work whenever I want." TRUE 2 points FALSE -0 points
"When I fail to show up at work without notice, I am not promptly fired." TRUE 3 points FALSE -2 points
"When I fail to show up at work without notice, I am neither reprimanded nor promptly fired." TRUE 5 points FALSE -0 points
"I have little to no trouble leaving my job for a period of months and then returning to it." TRUE 3 points FALSE -2 points
"I do not have to wear a uniform at work." TRUE 1 points FALSE -4 points
"I do not have to wear a funny hat at work." TRUE 0 points FALSE -6 points
"I never wear a suit to work." TRUE 0 points FALSE -10 points
"I never wear pantyhose and high heels to work." (women only) TRUE 0 points FALSE -5 points
"My parents are ashamed to tell their friends what I do for a living." TRUE 7 points FALSE -1 points
"I can sit down with my friends, smoke, talk, read, write, doodle, put my feet up, and drink coffee for prolonged periods of time while still getting paid at work." TRUE 10 points FALSE -3 points
SCORING:
-60 to -1 points: Your job selection instinct is severely impaired. The only way your score would be acceptable for a slacker is if your salary is enabling you to sock away enough money to retire within the month. Otherwise, do yourself a favor. GET A NEW JOB.
0 to 19 points: Your score puts you in that slack employment limbo that indicates that you just aren't trying hard enough. Learn to tend bar, for heavens sake! Bone up on your cappuccino skills, perfect your scowl, and go apply at your neighborhood cafe. Trust me, you're working too hard.
20 to 50 points: Your score, while eminently respectable, still leave ample room for improvement. The question you must now ponder is simple: Do I have my job or does my job have me?
50+ points: CONGRATULATIONS! You have mastered the most important aspect of slack living. You have found the most perfect day job. (Now try your best not to get canned.)
