revealing is not for worldly use

I went through my spam today on gmail. Since I don't get any of those interesting Nigerian get rich quick emails, I usually just delete them all with out reading them. The ones I get want to either make my penis larger, sell me viagra, or want to hook me up with local women. But today I actually looked through them, not because they have convinced me that I would be more confident with a 14 inch penis, but because they all started looking really bad in the translation department.

I know you get the same spam, but humor me and check these out. They both make sense at first, and then the second part is just gibberish:

****Make your manhood large and in charge.
Gain 4+ inches over six months.
revealing is not for worldly use, but for

****Your one-stop destination for affordable quality medications.
We sell brand-name and exact equivalents.
All F|D|A approved through our fully-licensed pharm.

cannot choose, or vary in particulars, there it is good to take the safest, and secret, must be a dissembler in some degree. For men are too cunning, to suffer

And likewise with these, but they are even worse. They start out poorly translated and then spiral into bedlam. Its like the last part they just cut and pasted from some Kazakhstan local news webpage and plopped it straight into babelfish.com:

****Womens always laughed at me and even chaps did in the urban john!
Well, now I smil at them, because I took M_E_G. ADI. K
for 3 months and now my cock is indeed best than usual.
earn 223 Im a Hungarian Jew and denial. that whatever regulations they introduce do not do more harm than matter-of-factness that seemed to belie the size of the disaster. The setback it was a very difficult disclosure for George to make, some wondered

****Cuties always srieked at me and even gars did in the not private WC!
Well, now I whoop at them, because I took Me_ga. d_ik.
for 6 months and now my shaft is greatly longer than federal.
shop an 80% elected, 20% appointed chamber. Other options
over a long time, and not just during the recent rains
Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing criticises
such companies make billions on the back of other
Lake Singkarak. At least 82 fatalities are currently

According to Sophos ( a company that makes security software for desktops, e-mail servers, and other network gateways) the major sources of spam so far in 2007 were the United States (the origin of 19.6% of spam messages), followed by China (8.4%) and South Korea (6.5%). When grouped by continents, spam comes mostly from Asia (35.2%), Europe (28.5%) and North America (24.2%).

With 35% of spam coming from Asia that does explain the poor translations, but what explains their fascination with big penises?? Or I guess I should say, why do they think we share their fascination with big penises?

Bizarre. . .I'm sure its one of the signs of the coming of the apocalypse:

"And you will hear wars and rumors of wars.
See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For there will be famines, and there will be unheard phallic messages that plague you from the East, and there will be earthquakes. . ."

And finally, here's a pie-graph I got from McAfee's website of the types of Spam :




Yes. . ."Products and Services" must translate to "Make your manhood large and in charge. Gain 4+ inches over six months."